Looking at relationships’ of my peers, I’ve noticed that females are confusing "being independent" with "being a man's provider."
Men are supposed to be providers, that is their role. But please don’t get me wrong. I do not believe a woman should depend on a man for everything, nor do I believe a man should never be able to depend on his woman. However, females are being tricked into thinking that independence means providing.
Maybe artist like Lil' Boosie or Lil' Phat are to blame? In their song "Independent" they defined an independent woman by saying,
"And she break a ni**a off got a ni**a Spoil"
"Hit me on my phone, she like to buy that d**k"
"I got independent dimes on my mind who spoil me"
Money is not the only factor that defines independence.
It's up to women to individually determine what being independent means to them. For me, independence is not just about material things; independence is a state of mind and a lifestyle. If you are dependent you are mentally weak. I do not need a man or anyone else to define my happiness or validate who I am.
I believe men still need to open doors, pick up the check (when they invite a woman on a date), give up their seats and get the drinks at the bar. Demanding this doesn’t make a woman dependent, it just shows she has standards.
Independent woman are confident in making things happen for themselves and when they don't know how to do something, they make it a priority to learn how.
Independent woman express their feelings regardless of what others think. This does not mean be rude and disrespectful, but be honest. Some women care to much about how others feel, that in relationships they sometimes they “go along” to “get along.”
Independent woman --express how they feel --get what they need -- demand what they want.
“She is content and happy with herself, and not frighten, being alone. However, if she dates, or in a relationship, she takes no nonsense from anyone. She asks nothing from or depends on a man, she is an Independent Woman able to take care of herself. -Audrey A Cooper
Being an independent woman doesn’t mean being alone. In a relationship an independent woman never makes her man feel unwanted, but makes a clear understanding that he is not needed. Independent woman are the best lovers because they know how to love and they love themselves.
